Thou shalt not pass

When God was sitting in that neat office of His and looking down at the Lords -
India struggling to save the match - He glanced at his past records and thought
that maybe - just maybe He owed that luck to the Indians. But ever a fair guy,
He put in a clause. If the Indians had to get away with a draw at Lords - He
insisted that they sacrifice their personal rewards for the series win.
Unbeknownst to the Indian players, their guardian angels agreed - knowing fully
well that the Indian fans too deserved the series. So it was decided and put
down in pen and paper or whatever heavenly instruments they used. No Indian
batsman would cross a century in this test. But the series was to be theirs.

Small price.

Edit: Kumble is 7 runs away from showing me the finger for this post

Howzzat Ump?

"Dude! We need to break this partnership" So said Vaughan to Collingwood when Sachin and Saurav looked like running away with the game.

"Err ..umm ..how? I am not really the best bowler you know!" - Collingwood

"But you look like the guy who could get the ump on ur side"

"Well .. ok ..if you insist!"

Which game is this you ask? The one in which the umpire gave a decision a blind man would have gotten away with - while Collingwood was bowling. Hmmm - but.... doesnt that like happen in every match now?

I suppose that Vaughan gets frustrated with seeing Sachin and Saurav bat - then he looks around and says that Colly seems like the only one whose pace will make the umpire sleep and then make the umpire slip in that attrocious decision. You got to forgive the umpire though - rudely waken up from a nap by the loud appealing - and then the immense pressure for him to make a decision. He probably sees Prior mouthing a mouthful at him and you have to forgive him for raising his finger.

Collingwood too has to be lauded for balancing his "wickets" and picking me Sachin and Saurav alternately. Atleast he is fair and equitable in his dealings.

On the other hand - the umpires seem to have decided that as a judgement giver - they are rightfully annointed by God to deal justice. So while God saved India in the form of rains at Lords - as annointed ambassadors of heavenly justice - the umpires have taken it upon them to "even things out".

That they cant tell even from odd is the real travesty

A pack of vultures

What do vultures do? They keep circling their prey and wait for it to get injured or tire and then they attack. Now the victim might acutally have it in it to push the vultures away and move ahead with a surge of energy. The vultures back off but still keep circling - waiting to see if the surge of energy was a temporary loss of reason or a continued display of energy. The moment the victim slacks off - they are there again to attack and claim their undeserved pound of flesh.

So why am I writing about vultures? Why this sudden fancy for vultures? Fine. Let me rephrase that paragraph a bit

What do Indian Cricket fans do? They wait for every opportunity to see one of the cricketers to fail and then gleefully jump in on the criticism bandwagon. They demand for the heads of players at will. Only till the player actually proves the fans wrong and performs solidly. Even then the fans and critics back off just for a bit - grudingly - waiting for that window where they can be proven right again. They wait for the player to fail again and then jump right in with retirement calls.

Not much difference eh? So essentially I could claim that I wasnt writing about vultures but about Indian cricket fans again!

Lets just have a look at the current Indian team and see if my theory is right

1. Dinesh Karthick - People have taken exception to his not being a specialist opener and hence have ridiculed his being in the team.

2. Wasim Jaffer - The bugger apparently plays a big knock only when he is close to being dropped. He too doesnt really deserve to be in the team according to experts

3. Rahul Dravid - So what if he has been India's most consistent and brilliant player over the last few years? He failed in the Lords test and even the Trent bridge test. More importantly by siding with Chappel he alienated himself for the team. I have heard calls for Dravid's head too. He too should be dropped really.

4. Sachin Tendulkar - He doesnt measure up to himself anymore. We dont care if he is still good enough to play international cricket. He couldnt even score the 9 runs needed to get his own century and we call him great and talented? Drop the bugger!

5. Saurav Ganguly - The man had been dropped already. He played selfishly in the WC. He is playing slowly only to hang on to his place in the team. Plus he antagonises the team. Drop him too please

6. VVS Laxman - So what if he has class and still is consistent? We dont like him and demand he be dropped. He too scored a 50 only to retain his place in the side - didnt he?

7. MS Dhoni - The man is a goalkeeper and a clueless batsman in England. It was the rains who saved us and not his fighting knock. Our team and players really cant do anything on their own - its only luck which saves us. So there lets get rid of him.

Whew. Thats the entire Indian batting order dropped! Bring on the new guys - the vultures are still hungry!

The turnaround

A shock loss to Bangladesh, a determined thrashing of Bermuda that included a emotional hug between Sachin and Dravid that indicated they would reach the next stage come what may and finally a disappointing collapse against Lanka. The Indians were out of a competition many tipped them to be contenders for. An emotional country had reacted spurring on a stupid board to take action against the players. Fingers were raised and heads were called for. Honour was clearly at stake. A long journey for redemption was awaiting the players.

It begun in a easy place - in Bangladesh where as the media hyped it Revenge was on the menu. Seniors were "rested" and the juniors managed to win the ODIs. But for the rested seniors - Sachin and Saurav there were points to prove. Sachin battled on to get two hundreds - determined but laboured. Not quite Sachin they said. Over the hill they said. Retire was the call.
Two Hoots was the answer.

The journey had begun with the easy steps taken. Onward they went to the United Kingdom with a battle to fight with the Africans of the Southern variety. Two nineties in 2 ODIs from the big man - one laboured one cracking and the Indians were winners. The more difficult step had been taken. The smile was back as was the spring in the step. Cricket was enjoyable yet again.

The Tests beckoned. The practice game saw the England Lions taking on the Indians. With 4 cheap wickets down all seemed lost. After all it was only the man who shouldve retired and a prince who never quite looked like getting to the throne at the crease. The man-who-shouldve-retired threw his head back - the bat on the ball and leather was belted. 177 of the best and then again the doubters had to hold back their harsh words. Would he still get the better of them?

The first test. Lords. Never an international century here. Jinxed. Failure. A streaky first salvo till Anderson got one to swing in. And then the ball that did happen twice in the blue moon. He had been Montied - once too many it was. The test looked lost. Till Dhoni decided his place in the side merited a fighter knock. Till rains decided that they owed India a few. Till Bucknor decided not to go anti India this time atleast. They got out of jail. However the doubters were purring in joy - they had evidence to launch the "Retire" campaign again.

Till Trent Bridge. Only till then. Because once Zaheer had done his deed - the openers partied and soon Sachin was there. Circumspect but purposeful. Hit on the head. Boundaries hit many times more. A duel with Sidebottom - perhaps lucky but more importantly persistent and classy he survived to get a classy 91 till Taufel decided someone should take over Bucknor's mantle.
A Ganguly special followed by another Taufel special - India were on their way to victory

And yet again Zaheer did his deed - superbly - with RP getting the nomination for best supporting act. 73 to chase and barring a few hiccups India had won.

The long journey to redemption was well on its way both for India and Sachin. It will only be complete if the series is won and more importantly later if Australia is felled.

I for one would gladly exchange a world cup for beating Aussie in Aussie in a test series. For without great dreams we have no great future.

Fifty

I have crossed 50 posts - slow and in a stuggling manner. But as they say in Test Cricket - what really matters is that I am still hanging in there.

Sitara News - Sansani bhari Khabar

An excerpt from hypothetical coverage from a hypothetical news channel

Aur hume yeh khaas jaankari mili hai ki Sachin Tendulkar ne Ice-cream khaane ke liye apni wicket gavayi. Yeh unki aur umpire ki mili bhagat thi ki unko galat tareeke se out diya gaya. Akhir kya ice-cream desh se jyada mahatvapurna ho gayi hai? Waqt aa gaya hai ki Sachin retire karein ya Public ki gaali ke hakdaar bane

"Ye Re Ye Re Pavsaa"

Translated from Marathi that would mean "Come Come oh Rain!" That easily was the most heard prayer by God yesterday and after having ignored many such pleas starting from the WC 2003 finals - He thought that it was about time to relent and finally signalled the Rain Department to shower on Lords. Ofcourse the Department was in complete readiness for that command by raining all around the ground (except on it till that command came in) for the best part of the day. Perhaps they too were wanting to see if the Indians were upto a fight - to see if they could survive two sessions. They did - thanks in no small measure to Dhoni who yet again showed he has the brains - and then the Gods obliged.

One cant really blame the Gods for delaying the rains till the last minute possible - after all if we had a spine we would have lasted for 15 minutes in the Kingston test against West Indies - taken the rains that were so strong that they lasted for 2 weeks and washed out 2 ODIs. But no - we did not do the hanging around and instead had downpour of tears instead of the rains.

But perhaps yesterday was the luck we deserved - not for any great achievement in the field - but just for Dhoni's insistence on keeping the strike as far as possible though the Gods might have been tempted to deny India the luck given the way Zak and RP tried to gift it all away.

But it stayed. India will take the luck - grin - and move on to Trent Bridge where hopefully the Batsmen will realise that they are infact supposed to be one of the best lineups in the world and perform accordingly.

What also is heartening is the statistic that every time in an England Series that India has failed to lose the first test - they have gone on to win the series. So perhaps the rains in the first test mean that a series victory is heading our way.

The Last Laps

One always tends to get nostalgic when one knows that one is doing something for the last time. When you have done it time and again repeatedly - and when you know that this is it - this is the last time you will be there - its only natural that one will get nostalgic or look at things indulgently. Its all the same - there is relief and there is that sadness at knowing that never again will you be able to do it again. Be it the last exam, or the last game or whatever - one has the right to be indulgent and look at the past - which if you look at it indulgently would have been good.

For Sachin, Dravid, Ganguly and Kumble the last lap has begun. After making zillions of rounds around the race track - they will now start seeing the places they have seen so many times for one last time - passing by all the milestones. The last lap has begun for them all.

For Sachin, Dravid and Ganguly - England holds a special place. First Century for Sach, 3 centuries on Debut for Ganguly and a confident 95 on debut for Dravid. England 1996 was where the germs of a superb middle order were first laid.

And since then we have seen some stunning knocks on the tours to England. Dravid's gritty 147 at Headingley followed by the 193 by Sachin and the 120 odd by Ganguly just to name a masterpiece each by the three of them.

It will be really interesting to see how they sign off on the tour. For Sachin who had announced himself with a gritty match saving century (maiden at that) as a teenager - it will be paramount that he goes out in similar fashion to the match against the England Lions.

This is the first of the milestones on the last lap - Australia awaits. And winning here is the only way we can go to Oz Land looking to win

Dark Side 1; Shiny Star 0

Many weeks ago I published a post regarding the Dark Lord's loss to the Dark Side. Now allow me to educate you about the Shiny Star's loss to the Dark Side. The Shiny star in question is our very own Dhingra - another stalwart of H-Mezz who also has succumbed to the Dark Side. When he got married he was carrying this ecstatic expression. Little was he to know that he was now about to fall to the Dark Side.

This is a true incident which occurred in the state/city of Delhi in the presence of the one and only 123 Kid (Well he insists that he be called Sid - one never knows why - but for all practical purposes we shall refer to him as the Kid or sometimes merely as Kid). So there was this time when I was in Delhi hawking some tea (again) and we decided that the 3 of us would meet for dinner - an event that was planned three days in advance and confirmed 2 hours before the decided meeting time. But it was then that the Dark Side struck! Dhingra in all his naivety committed to meeting us without actually seeking permission from the Dark Side. And then about 30 mins to the rendezvous time - he had to pull out because he was not feeling well. One could have believed that had he not used the excuse of having an "headache". What actually clinched the deal is that he actually then decided to visit us for 15 minutes at the restaurant - obviously in a tearing hurry because he had been allowed the 15 mins with a curfew imposed.

So Dhingra came - he smiled - he talked and then he ran off citing ill health and the headache no doubt! But it was clear that we had sadly lost him to the Dark Side!

With 2 H-Mezz stalwarts having been lost to the Dark Side, one wonder what the result would be when Kid gets married eventually (well the child marriage laws might just be ammended - you never know!

Sigh! Life can throw so many twists that its actually scary.

Welcome back

Its been long since I came this way - mostly because life has been quite packed over the last month or so. Also because there has been almost no inclination to blog. Even this is going to be one forced post. But when India has been playing cricket - there cant not be a post from my side.

While the series is been seen as a pointless one - it should have been one, actually all matches played in the month of May in the subcontinent are by default pointless - it actually has thrown up one positive - or rather reinforced a positive. Dinesh Karthick is here and hopefully to stay. Confident, assured and mature - he is what India needs. Also the matches have shown that Dhoni is all about the brains and not just about the hard hits.
Well I always claimed that this blog was one of positive reviews for Indian Cricket - so you can hardly expect me to crib about the quality of opposition right?

Amongst other news - Sachin and Saurav have scored centuries - always good news. Lets hope they reprise that achievement in England and then Australia.