We retain the right...

... to use, abuse and generally humiliate you! You are after all our favourite whipping boy. We give two hoots to the fact that you have been our most dependable batsman - nay check that - you have been our most dependable player but we really dont care about that

So you have kept wickets so that we could play an additional batsman because at that point of time we really did not have anyone worth their salt who could do both - wear the wicketkeeping gloves and hold the bat the right way. Yes yes - you could have refused and played as a pure batsman (its not as if our batting cupboard was overflowing with talent to replace you as a batsman) but you put the team interests over your own and manfully donned the gloves to help build a killer team. But really its you who were crazy enough not to be selfish - you cant hold that to us !

Yes you batted at all positions in the squad - heck you even opened the batting, you even played the role of a fantastic one day finisher, you have played the sheet anchor role, you have played well on any surface - but really its your fault that you could change the image we hold of you - that of a stodgy blocker. So what if you have really finished off most innings with elan? So what if you were the most dependable and proficient chaser of a total? It is undeniably your FAULT for having created that impression of yourself in the first place! Surely - you cant hold THAT against us ?

Yes you have batted at 0/1 most of your life, you have even opened the test innings because there was no one else willing to put their hand up. It has to be your fault for not going with the flow and ignoring the team needs. What kind of moron time and again volunteers to put himself in peril just for the team cause? How are we to blame if you are a glutton for self-punishment? Surely - you cant hold THAT against us?

Yes we dropped you unceremoniously from the OD squad because we imagined we had a bunch of youngsters better than you. So what if we had only played them on flat batting friendly 'Even-Munaf-Can-Hit-A-Fifty-Here' kind of pitches ? They were the youth and they look so dashing! And even when they get out they look so elegant - unlike you! You stupid stodgy blocker who hits every ball to the fielder! What? You say you were more effective! Hah - yet again its your fault for being effective over being stylish and generally in the news! Who told you to peacefully get married and be a family man? If you were to have affairs with filmstars maybe you would have been more interesting! Surely you can't hold that against us - CAN YOU?

And yes so we goofed up by trusting the youth too much - they couldnt really handle the short ones. So when we went off to difficult pitches, we called you back. Like the dumb glutton for abuse you are - you promptly decided to come back and bail out the team and play the short balls on bad pitches. Yeah Yeah you did a reasonable job there but hah now we are back on flat pitches! We dont need no help from you no more! We are back on the 'Even-Munaf-Can-Hit-A-Fifty-Here' pitches and you can keep your boring effective batting to yourself!

You Sir - have done everything the team could have asked of you! You have led by example. You have taken the tab for the team at every possible opportunity. And yet you are a fool for having done all of this for a bunch of people who couldnt have cared less. For having sacrificed yourself and having expected nothing in return.

Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid - you have banged yourself against a stone wall hoping that the stone wall would yield. It never will.

Farewell !