IPL - Arbit Observations

1. Bhajji's slaps could have been better used on Shiv Pandit, Samir Kocchar and gang. Its wasted on Sreesanth. Sreesanth was funny enough without the supreme funniness of his crying uncontrollably after the match.

2. The commentary is consistently bad. Today when Tony Cozier made a witty remark after Kalyanakrishna threw down his second slipped ball (the ball flew from his hand behind the umpire) - Tony commented "We should call this the doosra - one that goes the other way" - Arun Lal responded with his best 'Oops - I have nothing witty to respond with' fake guffaw and then added this 'gem' - "Tony - the doosra is already taken, we should call this the Teesra - Ha Ha!"

3. If your team isnt performing well enough you should support the Mohali team - Priety Zinta just might throw in a free hug.

4. Who is Mussavir Khote? Why is he in any team? I want to play for the Mumbai Indians too if Khote can qualify so can I.

The Mandatory Post

35 and a year is up. This time last year people were wondering if it was time. This time this year the speculation is not if its time but if time can last till 2011 for one last shot at the Holy Grail.

The year before had seen a journey from Great to Good. This year has seen him storming back to the greatness that was always his. Determination in England in Tests, Sublime Touch in the ODIs - an encore against Pakistan. A ride down under - sublime touch and total complete mastery in both tests and ODIs. A throwback to the 1998 Sharjah days with twin supreme innings in the finals.

A year that started with the stigma of the WC disaster saw a return of the sublime genius who was again lording over all proceedings. Taking charge of things to once again dictate his terms.

No one dares ask if he should make way now for the only question is will his overabused body be up for one last fling in 2011. That and a triple ton down the line in tests should be sweet.

Happy Birthday. Heres to many more such years.

Bowl Outs

The T20 WC saw the first bowl-out of its kind between India and Pakistan. While Sehwag Bhajji and Uthappa hit the stumps giving India a 100% hit rate - the Pakistanis missed on all 3 chances.

Now today in the ICL final (why oh why is there a bowl-out in a best of three finals anyway??) - the match between the Heroes and the Badshahs was tied. Out came the bowl-out and yet again all three Pakistanis missed.

And with sufficient minimum datapoints - we have the Bowl Out Theory. "Pakistanis cannot hit the stumps."

QED

Till such time. .

We are welcomed at Lords with a dusty turner and bright sunshine, At Perth and Brisbane and Melbourne with a flat - 4th day deteriorating track or at Wanderers with a brown surface - Our pitches should - nay let me emphasise that - our pitches SHOULD be pitches that turn square.

Thats what they call Home Advantage.

Of course 76 all down deserves a loss on any surface (apart from the meadows that masquerade as pitches in New Zealand.)

I have a dream

Brett Lee had the biggest grin on his face while all the other Aussies were hugging him. Why wouldnt they? They had both Jaffer and Sehwag back in the pavilion with the scoreboard at Zero. 0/2 and India were struggling at home. Ricky and Symmo were quietly grinning smugly - thinking of Bhajji's face as they looked at the scoreboard shouting out 0/2. The Mumbai crowd that had been so vocal had suddenly fallen silent. Meanwhile Sanjay Manjrekar was grinning from ear to ear and was furiously penning down his next anti - Sachin column. He figured Sachin - who was used to only a 20/2 scenario in Tests could not be able to take a 0/2 scenario and there he would have another incriminating article nailed. Oooh the editors would die for this. Maybe they would print it in the afternoon edition in anticipation if he hurried.

Rahul was at the other end - having watched Jaffers stump go cartwheeling off that Lee Scorcher. Sachin was walking out at the other end - conceivably his last test inning at home in Mumbai- He still had unfinished business in ODIs and probably had marked his calendar for a WC Final winning ton here in Mumbai. The crowd - disappointed at 0/2 - had still risen to a man in anticipation. Sachin was here - never mind the fools who had booed him the last time. Sachin and Dravid had a mid - pitch conference - a small joke about how it was 20 runs too early for them to meet and they were on their way with a grim guffaw.

Lee bowled another scorcher - met with the full face of the MRF bat and rushing past the bowlers leg for a boundary - the first of many. For Sachin was in the form of his life with a point to prove. What begun with a straight punch down the ground graduated into classic cover drives, meaty pulls, ferocious hooks, delectable flicks, cheeky cuts, paddle sweeps and those masterly cuts to third man. Oh yes sirree - Sachin was on his way.

The aussies delighted at a 0/2 on the first day went to lunch at 120/2 tea at 270/2 and finally ended the day at 403/2. The highest Indian partnership was in danger. Sachin had already scored his first ever 250 and was batting at 279* - Dravid paying close vigil at 110*. Manjrekar meanwhile was applying for political asylum in Uganda.

The next morning was no different - Sachin took honours with his first ever triple and went into lunch at 337* and Dravid had closed in on to his newest double hundred. Lara and his record beckoned. Lee stormed in with Sachin at 398 and overpitched - in a flash the blade swished and came down quickly - it was a coverdrive none of those present at Mumbai would ever forget. For there it was the World Record. A warm tight hug with Dravid celebrating. Heck! a 631 run partnership wasnt every day material. They declared at the stroke of tea with the champs walking back in with their head held high. Yuvraj could barely hold back his tears as he could only see the nets for himself in the near future.

Ishant had cut his long hair and was looking smarter than ever and obviously it had to reflect in his bowling. While he and RP ran through the Aussie batting - Bhajji ofcourse had the last laugh picking up Symonds while he tried to hoick him over mid on for six - the bat missed the ball unfortunately and the stumps were on the floor. Last heard after the celebration, the Black Caps were thinking of signing on Bhajji for the Haka Ritual.

217 all down and Kumble happily asked the Aussies to follow on. By now it was time for the captain to shine. 7 wickets were snared with flippers and faster ones - perseverance pays !
Ishant chipped in with the prize wickets of Bunny Ricky and Symonds - Ricky was done in by a series of unfortunate events. The unfortunate events ofcourse were 5 balls which outswinged and the 6th one - bloody hell, without any warning had the gall to inswing. Oh how dare Ishant make the ball do such unpritable things with the ball - first outswing and then inswing and that too for Ricky. Darrel Hair would have called as a no-ball for sure!

Kumble on the other hand - braving his age - was bowling with an edge. Seven Australians to be downed were no small matter - especially when Michael Clarke would insist on standing his ground inspite of having been bowled. Well he had a point actually - only the off and middle stumps were floored - and he was holding on to life for his leg stump.

The end though had to come swift and soon with Australia folding up in the second inning for 224 and India had their win. An inning and 190 runs. The no.1 rating was up for the taking - if they could beat the Aussies at Chepauk.

Oh well - Thats my dream. Whats yours?

Psychohistory and Cricket

In Issac Asimov's most famous Foundation Series - the underlying theme is completely about psychohistory and how the flows of history can be predicted fairly accurately. However it cannot predict the behavior of an individual and hence is put at bay when a mutant - The Mule takes over the galaxy.

Similarly - in cricket - in spite of commentators screaming that it is a game of glorious uncertainties - broadly you can predict various scenarios with several permutations and combinations and by and large you would have thought of most possible scenarios with varied probablities of them happening. Ofcourse while psychohistory predicts one scenario- cricket would end up with several likely scenarios.

And that is what was on view when the South African coach Mickey Arthur thought of the various scenarios that could crop up on day 3 of the test match. But he failed to predict the occurrence of the mutant named Sehwag. And it was his performance that left Mickey Arthur saying this

"Last night I looked at every possible scenario that could develop and this wasn't one. I didn't think in my wildest dreams they would score at such a rate. Again that's only due to one man."

A 292 ball 309 was not predicted - it could not be for a 300 in itself is a rare achievement. It needs time, it needs skill, it needs endurance, it needs mental strength. But on some occassions it just needs a fired up Sehwag - and then not only do you have a triple ton - you also have the quickest triple ever.

Sehwag may never make it to the list of Indian Greats - he may never sit in the same hall of revered fame that Gavaskar, Sachin, Dravid and even Ganguly will occupy. But he now has a pedestal of his own. Despite failing on numerous occasions in ODIs - in his own similar fashion - caught at mid-on, snapped at point, taken at slip slashing away from the body or even at third man.

His knocks at the top of the order are ones that create chances for the team where there are none. And come what may - even if he fails after this, Sehwag has created his own space in history. If Laxman's 281 is special - 309 and 319 too will be remembered forever. The 319 not just for its magnitude but also for its savagery and butchering value.

Cheers Viru - may your tribe increase!

The Answer

to Life, the Universe and Everything is 42. Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy is undoubtedly a cult. Cricket is a religion. Put the two together and you will have loads of bloggers like me playing out this pun. But who cares!

Today Sachin hit his 42nd ODI ton. And with it answered all questions - Ultimate Question

A hundred in a final ? Check
A hundred in a final run chase? Check
A hundred in a final run chase v/s the World Champions? Check
A hundred in a final run chase v/s the World Champions in Australia? Check
A hundred on Australian soil for the first time? Check

42. All questions answered

Now if there was a 43rd - that would be the proverbial icing.

Steve Bucknor...

...clearly needs to retire. But he must be working on in the strenuous role as the Umpire - perhaps because he needs to earn more to build a retirement home. I suggest the Indian Government and the BCCI should do the noble thing and provide the poor man with a retirement home in a scenic location. I would suggest that the Kashmir Valley - a few metres off the LOC would be a perfect place for the same. The view would be great and even though the sound pollution would be huge - hearing has always been Bucknor's problem - so that would not affect him.

Your "Buck" "Nor" your might ...

The easiest option ofcourse is to log in a complaint against Bucknor. However one doubts what effect that will have for in 2003-04 Ganguly had given him a very negative report - both for the atrocious decisions in that Sydney Test and for mimicking Rahul Dravid - rather taunting him as a ball tamperer. Nothing came out of that. And why go that far back in time - just rewind to the World Cup in 2007 in West Indies and remember the farce that was played out by the umpires - Mr Steve "Blind and Deaf" Bucknor was the lead actor there as well. The punishment? A free vacation during the T20 World Cup. So the worst that the ICC will do is prevent him standing in 2011 World Cup - by which time hopefully his knees will have given way anyway

The other option is to protest through a walkout or a forfeit. Barely the best possible solution - this will very easily turn the "public opinion" against India all over the world. Something Pawar will definitely not risk with him slated to be the ICC Chairman in 2009. Besides it may paint us as unsporting - even if in the face of disgusting umpiring and hypocrisy from the Aussie players. Given Kumble's rep - i doubt he will be in favour of pulling out completely. Maybe Ganguly as captain might have considered it - if it was to be Gavaskar - well history speaks for itself.

If we send a B-grade team it will have to be the BCCI's call. It means that they risk future income from series - where if umpiring goes wrong - you find lesser players playing in the series. No one really wants to watch it - it sets a precedent which can be used against the BCCI in future negotiations and given that greed is a word that can loosely be attached to the BCCI - the safe money is on the fact that they will do nothing of that sort.

If the players speak out - they will be banned for matches. Their comments will be deemed racist ?

So the only way out seems for the Indians to cop it - grin - and be laughed at by the Aussie Media unless Pawar decides to take revenge for the shove by Ponting but for a politician it seems the last way out. And probably is where we will miss Dalmiya

2nd January

We seem to have made a habit of playing extremely important test matches on the 2nd January.

In 2004 - we were playing at Sydney with the chance to knock Australia and very rudely gatecrash Steve Waugh's farewell party. Unfortunately he was there himself to guard the gates along with Bucknor and Parthiv and we were foiled. Nevertheless it was a glorious series

In 2007 - we were playing South Africa - again on the brink of history - we could have won our first series there and everything about the first day's play indicated that we were on our way. But then we aint Indian Cricket for nothing

And now in 2008 - we play arguably the most important test match for International Cricket (no not just for Indian Cricket) but for International Cricket. For over the last few years - only the Indian team has threatened the Aussies ever so consistently. And this is by far the most suited batting lineup for an upset. If we win this test we continue to be alive in the series and we make cricket interesting - very interesting.

Sydney has always been our best chance of winning a test in Australia. Now if only the batsmen were to wakeup and insist on batting in their favoured positions we might have a match on our hands