Out of Office

This is the Out of Office I had written while on leave - and i am wanting to put it up on the blog as it deserves a wider audience. Yes this is a complete show of non-modesty. But its MY blog.

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Hi - this is the Outlook Out of Office Assistant filling in for Pushkar. I hereby inform you that Pushkar is on leave from 28th December to the 14th of January (If you have queries on how that leave ever got approved - you would have to contact his Boss - XYZ <+91number>)

While on leave, Pushkar will have no access to his mail box but to deal with immensely urgent issues, he suggests that you drop him an sms and he will get back to you.

In the mean time, if you have any GSA related issues to discuss you would do well to contact his enthusiastic FSCMs (who will no doubt be celebrating and enjoying the free reign that Pushkar's absence will bring to them)

For Ahmedabad Zone, ABC on +91number
For Surat Zone, DEF on +91number
For Rajkot Zone, GHI +91number

For any branch related issues, it is strongly recommended that you get in touch with PQR (our extremely knowledgeable and helpful BOM - you might have to get past his incessant laughter track before that though) on +91number

Pushkar also advises me to wish you all Happy Holidays and a Happy New year in his absence!

Cheers!

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Names and numbers have been masked ofcourse!

Runouts - Part II

The debutant walked to the middle - having waited 27 years to make his debut. Facing his first ball, he played at it and placed it close to the mid on fielder. To run or not to run was the call he had to make.

It would be his first run ever - but he would really have to take the leap to make the run - or really take a dive to make it. He ran - daring the throw of the sharp fielder, shaking off his own inhibitions and then saw the ball closing in on the stumps. He did the only thing he could - dive in full length.

While the dust blew up in front of his eyes, his ears could catch the audibly boisterous appealing of the fielding team. He glanced up to see the Umpire make the familiar signal to the 3rd umpire.

And those were possibly the longest moments of his life - the black TV screen showing an advertiser endorsing the 'Decision Awaited' graphic. The heartbeats for him could not be any faster and just then the screen flashes up the decision - a red coloured 'OUT' graphic.

And his nervous energy dissipates into disappointment but not before he vows to come out again and bat and this time beat the throw from that sharp fielder.

The Start

So when the opening batsmen walk out to face the first ball of their inning, they have a set preparation in mind. 'Play out the monster fast bowler'; 'Dont play wide outside the offstump' ; 'Defend the first few overs'

Typically they must be mentally preparing to face specific bowlers - to be prepared for their special balls. They must be expecting the bowler to bowl them a bouncer and keeping the hook shot ready.

So then their shock and surprise is only to be understood when they find that instead of the monster paceman, its the wily spinner opening the bowling. And that all their best laid plans are gone to waste. And thats when the wily spinner bowls that googly -which, mind you, comes in completely unexpected - the batsman finds himself getting bowled all over.

And now pan to my boss - playing chaperone to senior management, taking them around the western markets. Prepared with data in hand to answer all comers about the big ticket items - bristling with confidence on the performance on the aforementioned big ticket items. And then out comes the spinner and throws up a question on Rexona. REXONA ??? The bosss' mind screeches loud - That tiny little thing? Really? Out go all the planned big shots and out comes the defensive stroke.

History they say is kind to the one who wrote it. Or in this case the one who told it. We are told that the defensive shot met the ball right in the middle of the bat and the googly was thwarted. But then History is the story teller's right

And then the boss takes around a even bigger boss to another western market. Yet another morning. Yet another inning with the mental preparation to play the big shots. And this time its not even a googly - its one of those tricky ones that stay low. How is Salt doing ?? The boss is spell bounded. We were told that this one too was played out from the centre of the defensive bat. But yet again History is kind to the ....

Chennai Redux

As it was clear that the day was going to be a total waste, the match had started and Australia had already raised visions of a humongous score. And so it was - 350 on the board. Whenever Australia scores 350, the only match that comes to mind is the World Cup 2003 final. I always wondered what it would have been like if Sachin hadnt fallen in the first over and instead stayed on to fulfill his advice to the team "If we score a boundary an over, we only have to get 158 off 250 balls"

But that wish came true today and unfortunately it did not quite end the way it has played out so many times in my head.

When Murphy decides that its his day - things are destined to go wrong. So the flight out of Baroda was delayed. The flight landed and taxied to the farthest possible parking bay. The bus did not show up for 15 minutes. The bus took 17 minutes to the terminal. The luggage had not shown up. The luggage came only 20 minutes later.

When the flight landed - Sachin was on 112. By the time the bag came through he was on 162. Never before has the temptation for vandalism been so severe - God knows what saved the airport from having a few broken glasses! Naresh Goyal - may your pilots strike again and again!

The taxi had a radio and the match was on and by then both Raina and Bhajji had been lost. Oh the excitement of cheering Sachin on to scale 350 and atleast avenge 2003 WC.

But the ghosts of Chennai have never been too far behind. If it was Joshi, Srinath and Prasad there - It was Jadeja, Nehra, Munaf and Praveen here. Sachin cried then and it took him 9 years to wipe those scars off.

It is unlikely he has 9 years more to wipe this one off

Buddhadeb Sengupta

Buddhadeb Sengupta is a very interesting character. The first thing that comes to your mind when you see him is - why is this little boy running around without his mummy?

And then just when you worriedly start looking around for the mother, just so the little KID would not be lost, you are told that he isnt quite the little boy but is a 26 year old 'man'

You look at him incredulously, shocked that he could indeed be TWENTY SIX. Then you chuckle to yourself and suddenly think that this little guy would never ever be able to sing the song "Jab mai chotta baccha tha..."

Like all Bengalis, Buddhadeb has a misplaced sense of his own strength. So it doesnt take much for him to tell a 6Foot 110 Kg guy that he (Buddha ) would pick him up and throw him away. Sigh so much for his bravado. But then once you factor in the fact that Buddhadeb is a KKR supporter in the IPL - suddenly it all starts to make sense.

Buddhadeb -in line with his other many eccentricities - has this unique way of sleeping as well. As a KID (as in when his real age also equated to kid status), he was mightily impressed by stories of how the Ostrich would bury its head in the sand to try and put away all its problems. So he decided that the Ostrich would indeed be his mascot and what better way to emulate the mascot than to sleep the way it does. See the attached photo. (The model in the photo is only for representation purposes and does not neccessarily imply any link to Buddhadeb).




Ofcourse the sleeping with the pillow under the head is not Buddha's only way to shake off reality. He, being a quintessential Bengali, has to be connected to fish. The only problem? He does not like eating the fish (a fact that almost got Mamatadi to launch an agitation to get him ripped off his Bengali status). So he makes up for it - by drinking like a fish.

His exploits under the influence are folklore in many parts of the world. The late Michael Jackson could learn a trick or two about dancing from BDUI (Buddhadev Dancing Under Influence). Oh those moves he could pull off (and then spend the next week wondering why his back hurts so much!). And then the stories about drinking - proceeding to the loo - and then not coming out of it for the entire night because he mistook it for his bed.

Aah Buddhadeb is indeed a character. It is likely that some of you who read this might have met Buddhadeb sometime in your lives. And you might know more such stories about Buddhadeb - please do contribute generously!

Memories and Associations

It was that time in class XII - India playing South Africa at the Eden Gardens - lunch break at the Electrical Maintenance - a barely working transistor , just about time to get into the practicals and suddenly Javagal Srinath picks up two wickets in two balls. The chance of a hattrick and the practicals just about to start -oh the torture! We huddled around the transistor - kept the practicals waiting and heard a huge shout from the commentator as the ball travelled to Saurav in the slips. We cheered - the hattrick under our belt - and rushed into the practicals only later to find that Dada had picked the ball first bounce.

Then there was that outstanding series where India beat Australia in an epic test series - the series where Laxman became Very Very Special. It was the first year of engineering. The same transistor. The final day and a chance of a victory - remote but yet a chance, the half flight of the sixth floor and 4 heads huddled around the transistor. Sachin bowling and picking three wickets, Bhajji playing like never before or after. The shouts of pure delight when the last wicket was had and the admonishing Mechanics professor who gave us our marching orders. Ah the bliss of having seen India to victory!

And then when we played New Zealand and it was 29th October 1999 - a day for Joshi Sir's Chemistry Classes and tests followed by Perreira Sir's Mathematics Classes - but also the first day of a test match with Sachin in great form and nervous in the 90s - Hitting two airy shots - catches which should have been taken but were dropped by Adam Parore to let Sachin get his 100. Signs were ominous - with my birthday following up and luck behind him, it was the moment for SRT to notch up his first ever international double ton. And so he did on 30th October - a birthday gift

Or that series where the Nagpur groundsman sold his nationality to the Aussies. A dead rubber in Mumbai on a minefield. Sachin and VVS played brilliant knocks to setup a meagre target of 108 for the Aussies. But there was the APplication EXercise (APEX) project to be submitted to the most fearsome of all IIMB Profs - Rambo and chasing 108 - Murali Karthik weaved magic - 25/3 and a rush from the Computer Centre to the Rec Room to watch the match. While the Apex waited, Murali and the pitch exploded to win the match. Aah the joy of watching India pull off a miracle!

Or that time with the Class X exams approaching and an exam the next day, trying to study and ignore the India Pakistan match at Dhaka. Pakistan putting up 314 to win for us and Sachin hitting an attacking 41 before holing out to Afridi, getting into a room with the door closed to try and concentrate on the match and still try to catch glimpses of it from time to time from the crack in the door. To see Robin Singh stride out at no.3 and hit a 81, to see Dada play a resolute 124 and then to sit in front of the TV and see Azhar and Dada refuse to leave the field for Bad Light. And finally to have Hrishikesh Kanitkar play the boundary in the last over (which won him a place in the squad for 20 matches)

Its funny how many mundane moments of life seem interesting simply because the associations we make for them with other exciting moments. Calvin in a dialogue with Hobbes once commented "I have this homework to do but i really want to go play outside. I know that doing my homework is important for me in the long run but playing outside will give me joy in the short run!" Cut to the next scene with Calvin on his sledge outside with Hobbes saying "But in the really long run, I know what will make better memories!"

Cricket has that ability of throwing up those moments which will make better memories!

Swagger Cricket

Legends say that the West Indian teams of yore played cricket that made you love the game - that they used to stride to the ground with a swagger, an air full of confidence - not arrogance but simple honest confidence that they were the best and indeed they were!

Legends talk about how the crowd used to be one with the game - dance and rum and chanting and the calypsos. Why wouldnt they be one with the game? After all the legends also spoke about tall lanky dangerous pacemen who could shatter you with their mere speed, about bowlers who never spoke a word but a cocked eyebrow was enough to send shivers through spines, about batsmen who could hit 189 in the company of a no.11, about batsmen who were so elegant that they drew comparisons to feline beasts, of bowlers who could run through lineups even with a fractured wrist.

But mainly the legends spoke about how this set of talented individuals gelled together as a team and well and truly enjoyed their game. The word swagger keeps swelling these legends.

However when one has started watching the game with the Windies in terminal decline, with cricket as a sport dwindling in popularity in the Carribeans - it always has been extremely difficult to associate with these legends. Its difficult to see why the Windies were everyone's favourite team inspite of being champions. Or how they were everyone's favourite team after their own.

Till the Champions League - till Trinidad and Tobago raised the question as to HOW and WHY the Windies could be in such terminal decline inspite of such beautiful and boundless talent available with them in just one set of islands! How can a team which has access to players who play such attractive and fearless cricket, a bunch of cricketers so in sync with each other and so openly and completely enjoying their game and playing with complete pride- lead to the West Indies being so pathetic?

The T&T team has given me a glimpse of what the West Indies heydays would have been like. To have a Richards and a Haynes and a Greenidge blasting away and a Marshall and a Garner and a Holding bowling those fearsome spells - oooh this T & T team has offered trailers of what could have been.

And yet one can only wonder and marvel at how a great giant of a team has self destructed to go from top of the pile to near bottom. But till such wonders cease - I will be supporting the fearless and attractive cricket that perhaps only Carribean cricket can bring to the table

We retain the right...

... to use, abuse and generally humiliate you! You are after all our favourite whipping boy. We give two hoots to the fact that you have been our most dependable batsman - nay check that - you have been our most dependable player but we really dont care about that

So you have kept wickets so that we could play an additional batsman because at that point of time we really did not have anyone worth their salt who could do both - wear the wicketkeeping gloves and hold the bat the right way. Yes yes - you could have refused and played as a pure batsman (its not as if our batting cupboard was overflowing with talent to replace you as a batsman) but you put the team interests over your own and manfully donned the gloves to help build a killer team. But really its you who were crazy enough not to be selfish - you cant hold that to us !

Yes you batted at all positions in the squad - heck you even opened the batting, you even played the role of a fantastic one day finisher, you have played the sheet anchor role, you have played well on any surface - but really its your fault that you could change the image we hold of you - that of a stodgy blocker. So what if you have really finished off most innings with elan? So what if you were the most dependable and proficient chaser of a total? It is undeniably your FAULT for having created that impression of yourself in the first place! Surely - you cant hold THAT against us ?

Yes you have batted at 0/1 most of your life, you have even opened the test innings because there was no one else willing to put their hand up. It has to be your fault for not going with the flow and ignoring the team needs. What kind of moron time and again volunteers to put himself in peril just for the team cause? How are we to blame if you are a glutton for self-punishment? Surely - you cant hold THAT against us?

Yes we dropped you unceremoniously from the OD squad because we imagined we had a bunch of youngsters better than you. So what if we had only played them on flat batting friendly 'Even-Munaf-Can-Hit-A-Fifty-Here' kind of pitches ? They were the youth and they look so dashing! And even when they get out they look so elegant - unlike you! You stupid stodgy blocker who hits every ball to the fielder! What? You say you were more effective! Hah - yet again its your fault for being effective over being stylish and generally in the news! Who told you to peacefully get married and be a family man? If you were to have affairs with filmstars maybe you would have been more interesting! Surely you can't hold that against us - CAN YOU?

And yes so we goofed up by trusting the youth too much - they couldnt really handle the short ones. So when we went off to difficult pitches, we called you back. Like the dumb glutton for abuse you are - you promptly decided to come back and bail out the team and play the short balls on bad pitches. Yeah Yeah you did a reasonable job there but hah now we are back on flat pitches! We dont need no help from you no more! We are back on the 'Even-Munaf-Can-Hit-A-Fifty-Here' pitches and you can keep your boring effective batting to yourself!

You Sir - have done everything the team could have asked of you! You have led by example. You have taken the tab for the team at every possible opportunity. And yet you are a fool for having done all of this for a bunch of people who couldnt have cared less. For having sacrificed yourself and having expected nothing in return.

Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid - you have banged yourself against a stone wall hoping that the stone wall would yield. It never will.

Farewell !

That sinking feeling

It is said that if a batsman goes out thinking that he cant play so and so bowler - come what may he wont be able to play him. If he believes that maybe he will edge the ball that moves away - he will.

And he gets into this state of mind when he repeatedly keeps getting out to that one bowler or repeatedly falls to the same ball or the same shot

And so begins a downward spiral - a lack of belief and hence a lack of confidence and maybe subconsciously even a lower expectation from one self.

He can try to force himself out of it by going all out aggressive - but one then cant be sure if steps out once too often. In the attempt to dominate he might well miss the line of the ball completely and get out leading to further demoralisation.

He might decide to spend time in the middle - getting his basics right - trying to solve one thing at a time, iron out those minor creases but then he realises that he has to score. The runrate is just building up all the time and unless he hits out NOW his improved technique might just not help.

So what does he do? What does he do? How does he snap out of the downward spiral? Where does it all end?

T20 is exciting when ...

... the bowlers dominate the batsmen. What joy to see low scoring thrillers!

Also South Africa is proving to be an inspired choice for a location. With the pitches supporting the bowlers - it is clear that the fly-by-night lesser skilled batsmen are not going to make the cut.

Which means that we get to watch real talent fight real battles out there. It also means that the Jaffers and Chopras of the world have a right to play their trade in the IPL. It will also mean that teams will actually relook their batting lineups and go in with one anchor and one hitter kind of a lineup.

The thing with the last IPL was that the batsmen started on top and the bowlers had to learn new tricks to keep the scoring down. In this case - the learning curve is all for the batsmen and hence the old experienced hands are going to be the ones most succesful.

Cheers to the new IPL ~ its like a Hamam. Everybody has a chance here